{"product_id":"even-his-parachute-couldnt-fly-straight-t-shirt-womans","title":"Couldn't Fly Straight T-Shirt (Woman's)","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eOff-Heading Outfitters: gear for people who took a wrong turn somewhere and decided the wrong turn was the point. The front emblem reads like a souvenir from a dusty desert outpost - silhouette runner heading into a sunset, red rock on every horizon, the kind of patch you'd find pinned up behind the counter at a place that sells maps and jerky and not much else.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eFlip it around and the joke lands. A poster-style print sprawls across the back: rainbow BASE canopy snagged against a cliff face, big block type underneath reading \u003cem\u003e\"EVEN HIS PARACHUTE COULDN'T FLY STRAIGHT.\"\u003c\/em\u003e It's the one genuinely funny comment from the internet pile-on after a real Moab cliff strike - pulled out of the sludge, cleaned up, and put on a shirt. The wearer gets to decide how much of the story to tell.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eSoft, light, semi-fitted. Breathable ringspun cotton, ribbed collar that holds shape, tear-away label so nothing scratches. Pairs well with worn jeans, gallery hangs, and explaining to strangers what an off-heading is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eRibbed knit collar with seam for long-lasting shape\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eTwill shoulder tape to stabilize and prevent stretch\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eDouble-needle sleeve and bottom hem for added durability\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eLightweight 4.5 oz fabric; semi-fitted silhouette that runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e100% ringspun cotton (varies by color); tear-away label for comfort\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eNon-chlorine: bleach as needed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eTumble dry: medium\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eDo not iron\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eDo not dryclean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":42393104187474,"sku":"28803054844759879930","price":29.63,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":42393104121938,"sku":"19985850165017893750","price":29.63,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Purple","offer_id":42393104056402,"sku":"29331276320821115149","price":29.63,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Royal","offer_id":42393104089170,"sku":"16195228076973855839","price":29.63,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Azalea","offer_id":42393104154706,"sku":"15561787290961106244","price":29.63,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":42393104220242,"sku":"67413523288356185919","price":29.63,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ 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