Couldn't Fly Straight T-Shirt (Woman's)

Off-Heading Outfitters: gear for people who took a wrong turn somewhere and decided the wrong turn was the point. The front emblem reads like a souvenir from a dusty desert outpost - silhouette runner heading into a sunset, red rock on every horizon, the kind of patch you'd find pinned up behind the counter at a place that sells maps and jerky and not much else.

Flip it around and the joke lands. A poster-style print sprawls across the back: rainbow BASE canopy snagged against a cliff face, big block type underneath reading "EVEN HIS PARACHUTE COULDN'T FLY STRAIGHT." It's the one genuinely funny comment from the internet pile-on after a real Moab cliff strike - pulled out of the sludge, cleaned up, and put on a shirt. The wearer gets to decide how much of the story to tell.

Soft, light, semi-fitted. Breathable ringspun cotton, ribbed collar that holds shape, tear-away label so nothing scratches. Pairs well with worn jeans, gallery hangs, and explaining to strangers what an off-heading is.

Product features

• Ribbed knit collar with seam for long-lasting shape
• Twill shoulder tape to stabilize and prevent stretch
• Double-needle sleeve and bottom hem for added durability
• Lightweight 4.5 oz fabric; semi-fitted silhouette that runs true to size
• 100% ringspun cotton (varies by color); tear-away label for comfort

Care instructions

• Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
• Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
• Tumble dry: medium
• Do not iron
• Do not dryclean